Deep inside you will find yourself in an abyss of dreams, it seems the more you're intrigued, the more everything else becomes obscene...
Labels
- Creative Writing (25)
- Modeling/ Acting Work (28)
Always In Deep Thought...
New York Born & Raised
Psalm 118:8
It is better to take refuge in the LORD
than to trust in man.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
DREAM
PRIDE WON'T LET ME SEE YOU
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Love Got Me
Love got me dreaming of you, there's no end no retire
Love motivates me and cripples any thought of another,
I simply reserve that space cuz' I know you are the buyer.
Love got me dreaming of moons and planets of which I've never seen
Love got me crying tears of happiness, it will come if I believe
Love makes me want to do the unthinkable all for you babe,
I cherish you, the key player, we are the dream team.
Love got me fantasizing of what should be, could be, would be
Love got me overlooking mountains blocking what we should see
Love makes me want to color you in all the colors not yet imagined,
Your beautiful for who you are, you are the air that I must breathe.
Love is what I see every time I look at your face
Love is what I feel when I hear your voice, I love what it creates.
Love runs through my very veins, I have all to give to you
Love was, love still is ... Love heals all because it exists so great.
Love is the core of my very soul
Love is what we each have buried deep, from birth it grows
Love is you and me as I dream of us growing old
Love makes me check every minute on my phone.
Love always brings me back to you
Love teaches me forgiveness and patience too
Love softens my rough edges, when it comes to you.
I just wish you knew it was you...
Monday, July 18, 2011
The Model Workshop
Melyssa Ford is originally from Toronto, Canada and came to New York with a dollar and a dream. Well, not quite, it was actually a suitcase and $25. Now that's faith. You may have noticed her in calendars, hosting television shows, acting in film, as well as some of the biggest hip-hop videos of all time. Currently, Melyssa is a motivational speaker and is working on launching her non-profit organization, promoting literacy.Liris' story is about a young woman who has had countless doors slammed in her face because of her voluptuous curves. Liris took it upon herself to research and market herself. This meant, waking up early in the morning and sending out numerous emails, visiting agency after agency and traveling from city to city. She was and still is a go-getter putting a one hundred and ten per cent into her career. Liris simply states, "I never gave up..." A small yet bold statement that encompasses the work that she's done. Liris is another example of building her own lane, when the lanes previously laid out did not fit her. Don't take NO as your final answer. Grab hold of your DESTINY!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
The Color of Love
I've lost my spark
I'm passionate yet I've lost the ark
to take me away
Wading in an ocean of emotions
Further down in an abyss I stay.
This beam of light diminishes
as the anchor draws me deeper... away,
In many ways I look at this and say
It's the story of love we once shared
and now this day...
There is no longer, just what was...
A beautiful color turned to gray.
I'd hate to think it was a mistake
No regrets all decisions made I'll claim.
My heart, I feel I must train.
Yet I have visions of a perfect love
everlasting it will no longer fade.
His distance I feel, a name not known,
But in my heart it's engraved.
Perhaps love knows
before we were even made
Love is a funny entity
not quite logical
inheriting an infamous fame
Love, a funny thing really.
Embodies red, purples, greens
yellows, blues in every hue
Revealing beauty and darkness
in each and every ray
Looking for that white dove
to lead the way.
The purest of all shades
reflecting all colors
in every which way.
Can you withstand the rain
the downpour
all of it can you take?
Can you keep love before it
turns to gray?
Love waits for no one
With love...
There is no second, minute
or day.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
TRUTH IS TO FALSE
Many argue, it's back up by facts and/or a reliable source.
But what if it's based on faith, may not make sense at all.
No scientific explanation, doesn't necessarily mean it's false.
Truth. Within or without. Content in silence or proclaim it out loud.
Truth. A somewhat logical consistency--or a surprisingly believed farce.
A truth because of massive acceptance or unfortunate misconception.
A viable belief. A separation of a people causing permanent distinction.
Some are free to practice their truths, some locked away or abused.
Some exhilarated and in freedom, other in bondage because of truth.
A remedy to falsity.
A balance from falsehoods to its facts.
Without truth, clarity lacks.
But my truth isn't the same for Pat.
Fingers point left, right, front and back.
Calling out impostors names--blaming, "Who you calling Rat!"
A perpetual cycle, grab a hold truth with a tightened strap.
Ride the back of yours, someone else's is a trap...
Malika, the pen holder
Untitled
My inspiration is drawn from my internal soul
I don't know why I haven't thought of this before...
But the power I've always had...no longer unknown.
From sun up to sun down, searching for understanding-
Learning to be aware that the soul needs to be searched first,
as your true purpose begins unraveling...
Knowledge and wisdom starts to quench your thirst.
Yes! Struggles, discomfort, fears--they're seasonings of a Queen so true.
And Sometimes the night crawls in, flesh crawls to bed, tears becomes a pillow,
Wondering if these cries God only hears....holding my breath for a miracle----
As my face turns blue and my mind becomes clear after stressing over issues so trivial.
As I call out to the mighty one, it seems as if I exist alone,
but truth be told I must hold on....
Through God and my true understanding of self,
The patches of uncertainty would soon become sewn.
I am not just existing..
But my potential will meet my destiny
Not just thoughts of encouragement but thoughts of the truth and believing..
This is my life, God has blessed me with I will not be defeated.
Yes! I am a free spirit yet my actions in training can be disciplined
Maturity understands this, builds character and strength
My mistakes and downfalls will not force me to retreat.
Only push me to search the truth and positivity
SO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO I AM...YOU GOT IT
THERE ARE SO MANY WISHING TO SEE ME FALL, I MAY BE 5'4 BUT I'LL ALWAYS STAND TALL.
YES I'M UNIQUE, I'M DIFFERENT...A MILLION OTHERS.
I CAN ONLY BE ME, DESTINED FROM BIRTH JUST FOR STARTERS..
FROM THE WOMB I WAS STRONG, YET I WAS BORN A PREMI..
GREEDY AS AN INFANT, I WAS ALWAYS HUNGRY.
I LOVE IT JUST TO BE COMFORTABLE ON MY OWN TWO FEET,
I'M RIDING THE TAIL OF SUCCESS, NEVER SKIPPING A BEAT.
MY ARMS PRE-MADE JUST FOR THE REACH, MY FINGERS ALREADY PREPARING A THANK-YOU SPEECH.
I LIKE THE HATERS, WHO THINK THEY KNOW WHAT I'LL SAY BEFORE I SPEAK.
THEIR WORDS ARE JUST REDUNDANT, LIKE A PARROT AND ITS BEAK.
SOME THINK I'VE GONE MAD, BUT I JUST HAVE A MAD STREAK.
HUNGRY FOR SUCCESS, WANT TO RIDE OUT TO MY PEAK.
WHEN I DO, I'LL SPRINKLE THE GAINS LIKE A FORMING STREAM FROM A LEAK.
NOT CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK, NOT ASHAMED LIKE A FREAK.
IMMA SHARE IT, NOT BECAUSE OF FAME BUT I BELIEVE IN GIVING AND UNITY.
I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE, DON'T CARE TO SEE THEM FALL BENEATH.
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOUR TITLE, BUT THE EYES YOU OPEN TO SEE, FROM THE LIES THAT PUT CHAINS ON
YOU AND I, SO THE TRUTH WE SEEK.
I AM, THE PAIN THAT I FEEL FOR OTHERS AND ME...FEEL TOO STRONGLY THAT I COULD PULL OUT
THESE PEARLY WHITE TEETH.
I AM... PASSION, I FEEL TOO STRONGLY FOR THESE MEAN STREETS.
I WON'T START A FIST FIGHT, CAN'T EVEN HURT A FLEA...
BUT I'LL ROCK HARD LIKE A THUG TO THIS SONG AND THIS BEAT.
BUT DON'T GET IT TWISTED, I WILL DEFEND DON'T MESS WITH ME.
I'LL BE A CONTRADICTION, PULL A HEM, NEXT A FOOT ON YOUR NECK HAVE YOU SCREAMING PLEASE.
I AM LOVE, SHOWING MY CARE SO PASSIONATELY,
LOVE TO FALL IN---TOO MANY TIMES SEEMINGLY
I AM MY WORD, IT'S ALL YOU GOT KEEPING IT REAL CAUSE I HAVE HEART
NOT ABOUT SHADY SCHEMES
I LOVE MY CITY, WHERE I GREW UP... N. Y. C...
HEMPSTEAD, WHERE YOU AT?, BROOKLYN, HELLO QUEENS!
FASHION CITY, FASHION SENSE, FASHION A MUST, THIS IS ME.
MORE THAN CLOTHES, BUT A STATEMENT, A LIFESTYLE, JUST CALL ME A FIEND.
I AM EXPRESSION, CREATIVE ART, NEVER RUNNING OUT OF STEAM
RELEASING INHIBITIONS, ALWAYS INVENTING, REJUVENATING..I AM QUEEN.
YOU BECOME WHAT YOU PRACTICE AND YOU SAY WHAT IT IS YOU MEAN.
YET WRITING MIGHT BE BETTER, EXPLAINING MAY BRING SOME DIFFICULTY..
I NEED POSITIVE PEOPLE AROUND ME, I NEED THAT LIFTING VIBE, THAT ENERGY..
THAT DON'T COME EASY, TOO MANY PEOPLE WITH FALSITIES.
I LOVE MY FAMILY, WITHOUT THEM I BELIEVE THERE IS NO ME...
MY CULTURE, SO DIVERSE, JAMAICA STAND UP GT!
BORN TO IMMIGRANTS WHO'VE MIGRATED HERE TO FIND THE AMERICAN DREAM...
SO I CAN'T FAIL, CARRYING THE TORCH MAKING A PATH FOR THE GENERATIONS TO BE.
BORN IN A GHETTO YET RAISED TO BE PRODUCTIVE IN SOCIETY.
HEARD THE JOKES HAD PEOPLE TELL ME WHAT I DREAM ARE IMPOSSIBILITIES.
BORN ALONE, MY SECOND HALF GONE HAD TO LEARN THAT'S HOW IT WAS TO BE.
DIDN'T KNOW I WAS A TWO UNTIL I HIT PUBERTY..
THOUGH IT NEVER FULLY FORMED ALWAYS KNEW A PART WAS MISSING FROM ME.
NEVER A MISTAKE, PRE-WRITTEN, BEFORE I COULD EVEN SPEAK.
SAW DIFFERENT WORLDS, LIVED AND HAD GREAT OPPORTUNITIES.
PARENTS SHIELDED ME FROM TROUBLE YET TROUBLE ALWAYS FOUND ME..
BUT I PERSEVERED, NOT A VICTIM, BUT I SING VICTORY.
I UNDERSTAND NOW, IT'S AS CLEAR AS MY MEMORIES.
'NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM' MY BEGINNINGS, LIKE LEARNING MY ABC'S
ALL MY LIFE EVENTS, MY STRUGGLES, PAINS, CRYING, PRAYING ON MY KNEES..
I MAKE MISTAKES, I'M ONLY HUMAN, SOMETIMES I MAY WALK WITH TWO LEFT FEET.
SOMETIMES I'M RIGHT, AT TIMES I'M WRONG BUT I'LL STICK TO MY BELIEF...
NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT MY FAULT, WHEN TRUTH RISES TO THE TOP FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA.
I THANK GOD BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S JUST TO SEASON ME, FOR WHAT I WILL BECOME
AN EVEN BETTER ME...
Out the Woodworks
Casting a shadow over my enemies, bad luck is your fortune your cuts made me bleed...
But I'm not dead Im just finally..Im stronger now from the ground look up I continue to suceed.
Many didn't but I just had to believe...It's either up or down my definition of success I hold the key.
Is it fast cars, a big house, forever fresh and clean
Or is it pay the debt of my family Do I take up the cross for my homies on the streets
Make sure my nieces want for nothing, prepare for my unborn seeds.
Some say Im over my head thinking up to big a dream
Failure, my biggest fear I need a strong team.
We stick together "Death before Disloyalty"
but it's hard to find true ones in double the amount of phonies
To me no purpose in life is like a catastrophe
What you do on this Earth who you help before you leave
I pray to God I can give back somehow to my community, but its hard to smile with
frowns tryna block me. So I can't see.
Its a rough job but Destiny chose me, I already know I bear the cross of the unseen.
I feel broken hears so they can be pain free.
Maybe I should have a drink to numb the blows I would receive.
No matter how many curses or spells you try to throw on me, it will fall back to you twice as bad backfire on your scheme!
I'm not Christ no where close I am unclean but I know through his blood, he covers me
I should have been dead long time but just like a light beam...
He shed his light so bright don't know why he saved me.
So success in my stars that's my Destiny. Struggles and pain, they're not there to finish me
I've got a heart of steel and my vision's clear I am not yet out of steam
The pressure never dies and I yearn sleep from anxiety
My pulse forever rising my heart still ticking, no time to prop my feet
So I can't let the next one claim my seat,
Take everything, my future... this will not be my defeat
So I'll continue to rid the negative and plant the positive and always take that leap.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Random: 'Thoughts on my Life at the Moment...'

So after having a conversation with first myself, my cousin, and God, I've realized that if you want change you have to first have the desire... then second act upon it.
Life can be scary at times, in fact all the time, but you only have one to live. I have to be honest the past three years has been hell for me and I expect there to be many more trials before my rainbow appears. A lot of my trials had been sowed by previous bad decisions, as well as forces in which I had no control over.
Then again that's the story of life... a circle of joy and pain. A lesson each and every one of us must learn. The past three years has been a continuous test of my faith as well as a test of my livelihood. All these years I've been trying to please certain people, believing I've owed them damn near my life...only to find myself in ultimate confusion. No matter what I've accomplished, it was never quite enough. My friends, you must first seek God and do what is true to you, or else you will never find true happiness.
I have beaten myself up over these nuances but then realized I am only human. You can try to control everything in your life only to find yourself completely losing control. I thank God for literally saving me and giving me the little bit of hope I hang on to till' this day.
Like many others, I have been told I can't do it, I'm just a little person with big dreams, I've wasted my life, I'm not good enough, etc. If all these are true, why do I have this burning desire of the complete opposite? Why is it that complete strangers can see my vision without me saying, but the people I love or look to... try to destroy my confidence? I refuse to be angry with them because of my love.
I know I'll prove otherwise one day, but I realize now the devil is a liar. God put me here for a reason, and these hard times are allowed to unfold only to season me for my true purpose. My path is only for me whether I decide to go left or right, but my outcome will only be success. I've decided that and unlike before, anyone wishing me other than that, I will rebuke.
So as I ponder at split road on whether I should go left or right, I have more confidence now than I've had yesterday. My only apology is to the ones I've let down because I'm not who they wanted me to be but I have no regrets because I am who I'm supposed to be. I become wiser by the day and through the pain and loneliness I push through. I push through for me, for those like me, and for my future little ones who will need for me to just be. I am very grateful for all of my blessings but I refuse to carry the weight of another's regret and disapprovels....until next time.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Cold Thoughts...
Thursday, June 24, 2010
MISSTIANNAH HAS MOVED!!
Don't hesitate to follow that page for most updates. This page on blogger has been recreated to express the more creative and introspective side of me, hence the name Malika The Pen Holder. You guys have a blessed day and check out the new blog entry on MissTiannah: Life Is Like A Revolving Door....
God Bless :0)
Sunday, May 9, 2010
The Decision Is Yours...
Its entirely up to you to make such a decision. Just know that everything is connected and whatever decision you make affects someone else directly or indirectly, whether you choose to live selfishly or for humanity. So choose wisely. The next step is the path to your Destiny. You don't know the outcome so take yourself outside of the box, and realize that tomorrow is not promised. Live every day like it's your last but be sure to leave your legacy and pave the way for others to follow. Make sure you set yourself up and be smart so that you have a promising future. Nothing comes easy and most things that come easy are not worth having. Lead a path so tomorrow's leaders have a blueprint to go by if they become lost.
Recognize the three P's in your daily routine of life: Potential Power you Posess
Though it is your choice, it is your responsibility to understand the potential power you possess, to lead many astray or on the right path. Whether you know it or not, we are all connected through body, mind, and spirit. Break out of old habits the Time Is Now! Open your eyes, minds, and spirits to what is beautiful in the world around you.. Simultaneously, acknowledge the devastations, the tragedies, and the pain those are suffering. Wake up rejoice that you are able to breathe once more..There are so many who aren't granted the same opportunities. Use your blessings to help another...you will be blessed abundantly!
If you want change to occur you must first start with yourself. Take a look inside and find the confidence to change for the better. No one is perfect, everyone have flaws yet that is no excuse to have the desire to change. Change is constant and change is a sign of growth. Do not be afraid to take it by the horns and ride it out until the end! It is up to you to live everyday like it's your Death or live everyday like it's a NEW BEGINNING...REBIRTH in your own right!
Peace Be With You.
Malika the Pen Holder
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
'Why Don't You Love Me' Video
B creatively stars as "B.B. Homemaker" in a classic American television style video, portraying a woman who is haunted by a unappreciative husband. This new 50's approach is quite amusing, sexy, and full of drama! What you think, do you like the new B?
"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Charles Hamilton- In Case I Actually Get Her (W/ Lyrics)
With this thought in mind, Charles Hamilton hit it straight on the nose. Say what you want but Charles Hamilton is definitely different from many of the talent out there in the Hip Hop World. Like him or dislike him you have no choice but to acknowledge his unique art. Below is an interview with a DJ - Dj Skee- February 13, 2009. Hamilton talks about what his mixtape is about and goes into depth about the, at the time, exclusive "Well Isn't This Awkward"...
"Well Isn't This Awkward"
Thursday, April 8, 2010
WHAT IF???
"hip hop" music.
Just What If all the next albums released were created to speak positively about life, choices and consequences. This does not include those who are already doing it to an extent. Some may argue, but like Common, Lupe, Nas .. etc. You guys get the point.
What would be the state of current Hip Hop then? Are artists doing this enough if they are doing it? Does it even matter? Would artists/labels make money? Money vs. Responsibilty? <--- As far as speaking positively to our soo misleaded youth.
#Just Saying. Looks like Lupe had a bit on his mind.. What do you think?
Monday, April 5, 2010
STARS
Keep being positive and you'll see yourself succeed
Life and success doesn't come with ease
But it takes lessons, mistakes, and even scraped knees
Take everything into account learn from these things
Everything is interrelated, be observant of what life brings
Love yourself and love for what your not
Remember your unique for the qualities that you've got
Use your abilities and develop them... master them!
Work hard, you reap what you sow you can't be stopped!
Don't let negativity influence you to cause the ball to drop
Develop your swagger no one can duplicate
Be free love life! Get up even if you break!
Love that your beautiful!
Love that your made in his image!
Love your flaws!
Love that your great!
Allow yourself to laugh, to cry, to rejoice!
Sing your song, release yourself, speak your voice!
Smile even when there's nothing to smile about
Give when you need the help...lol
Be the Sun though it's still dark out
Be a leader, gather the crowds.Thank God for life, thank God for stars
Its time to truly shine on Earth
Since we already exist in solar
MESSAGE OF THE DAY: CHANGE
CHECK THIS OUT IF IF THIS DIDN'T HELP:
http://queenii27.blogspot.com/2010/03/tip-of-day-4.html?showComment=1270451996342_AIe9_BFAw7qcErvYsg8N8kI04-V6ccFY7vKhotyrPADEv9rQkaSHKVoYY7Qhd2TPe7Jdk0y5qMg0-fvqaOKcwpz_yRB1M7QCn9qdsCHvciLq0ASllvMW8RF2GID4dxzTQsHsgJ4eqIybVDhCnugEcTyKKk8pgdfrYyRa5XFgA8Mfs0I2YF-LfQXBhxTI35e7_TgVGlWNZ_XNtU6OSn6X50BVL-MxcFDYKQ#c2496185237919754062






